Peace Rains

Then Gideon said to God, "Please don't be angry with me, but let me make one more request. Let me use the fleece for one more test. This time let the fleece remain dry while the ground around it is wet with dew." So that night God did as Gideon asked.

– Judges 6:39-40

One more miracle. Another petition that the God of heaven's armies would move on our behalf.

I sat there meekly wringing silent hands in that over-sized office chair. My lips were chapped with the anxious repetitive biting of my lower lip. In my hands the hope of another miracle, clasped in tight fists. A large rectangular table separated me from a man with a list of answers. Test results, projections, and prognosis. Cost estimates, planning, and calendars. Thermometers, timing, and test strips. The pile grew to the ceiling in my mind, a load I was never meant to bear.

Had I ever stopped believing? That the real Miracle Worker did not sit opposite me typing on his computer all the clinical data about mine and my husband's family plan?

Had I stopped remembering that I know the true Author and finisher of the story that unfolds? That He is the God of the impossible?

Had I failed to believe that God could take our not-enough and make it enough? And that our weakness is all God needs to make mighty powerful the extending of all His grace?

Had I forgotten the One who meets all my needs without draining any of His resources? That I could indeed approach the throne of grace with bold confidence and receive His peace?

...because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace. – Luke 1:78-79

Peace is a gift daily given. Manna from heaven, newly replenished, collected in humbled hands that receive grace. My emptiness is an opportunity for His filling. My weakness, a revelation of his sustaining grace.

We can choose. When we are despairing, we can choose to live as Israelites gathering manna. For forty long years, God's people daily eat manna – a substance whose name literally means “What is it?” Hungry they choose to gather up that which is baffling ...their daily nourishment from that which they don't comprehend. They find soul-filling in the inexplicable.

They eat the mystery.

They eat the mystery.

And the mystery, that which made no sense, is “like wafers of honey” on the lips.

He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. – Deuteronomy 8:16

...I wonder too...if the rent in the canvas of our life's backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see.

To see through to God.

– Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces

The fleece is set out upon dry ground, the arid desert of the soul. We put it out there. Lay everything down on the table. Surrender control, the crafting and over planning, and let go of the lies: that all of this just happens, that getting pregnant just happens.

Let go of the short-change credit to Creator God that “miracles” just happen. Lay hold of the truth: with God all things are possible. Peace rains down like a blanket from heaven, sustaining and refreshing the soul.

When the dew settled on the camp at night, the manna also came down. – Numbers 11:9

We gather it up.

We lay it down.

Gather up manna.

Lay down the fleece.

Soak into the fabric of all my being peace.

Peace is a well.

It is well with my soul.