A Grace Narrative: Path of Peace

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.
– 1 Corinthians 13:12 (NLT)

Groggy eyed I groped along the night stand for my phone -- alarm chiming in the start of another day. I flung back on the pillow, my mind attempting to sort through a tangled mess of worries about the day ahead. I hadn't gotten enough sleep. My little girl had been up a few times with bad dreams. During one waking she sleepily tried to relate her dream back to me – not any of it was making sense.

My head sank deeply into downy softness, never wanting to leave the comfort of my bed. “Lord, this is your day. Guide me through it and help me to follow you.” It has become my desperate assurance in coping with the chaos of life; I have come to learn that the best way to be armed for the day is to get grounded in God, sink deeply into his presence.

The blue light of dawn seeped into the room. I stumbled out of bed and fumbled to the kitchen to fetch my favorite mug and pour a freshly brewed cup of coffee. The morning has come to be my most coveted time of day, when I can hold that warm cup in my hand and sit down to read and pray. Pouring my coffee, I glanced at the familiar quote printed on the side of the cup.

My thoughts bumbled down a rabbit trail of distraction... Memories taking me to a time when my husband and I were still childless, wondering and waiting. It didn't make any sense at the time, why we could have gotten all the details right in our young lives but could not control the one thing that should come so easily. Infertility was a word we probably wouldn't have used at the time, but it is a word that haunts countless couples everyday. The one thing that should make the most sense doesn't make any sense at all.

Today, I'm sitting with this cup in my hand pondering in amazement how God took that which made no sense and turned it into wonder. Our little miracle is asleep in her bed in the next room.

Yet, some days I still feel like Alice in Wonderland, tumbling down a rabbit hole, my idealistic spirit carrying me on a chase after a little white rabbit who has aimlessly lost his precious Mary Ann and is in ever so much of a hurry to find her. And I keep on following after, down a trail of nonsense, hurried by I-don't-know-what and frazzled by that incessant feeling of being late!

Do you ever do this? Get caught up in the chase? Whether it be from sheer curiosity, ambition, or misguided desire, sometimes we can find our self being carried along a path and only later stop to think, “How did I get here?”

As a child I related to Alice. All the world around me felt like nonsense, the rules, the order of things, the choices of paths to follow to who-knows-where. It stirred within me great anxiety as I tried to make sense of the insensible.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

My mother used to pray this verse over me when I was feeling completely overwhelmed by a situation. The part that always stood out to me was that God's peace transcends – it is above and surpasses our understanding. Our limited knowledge is nothing compared to the peace to be found in God. Even that sounded so lofty to me, as if God was there hovering somewhere above the earth, detached from the human experience. How could a God like this bring peace? What did peace even look like?

I remember hearing somewhere about the “upside down kingdom” of God*. That kingdom where the poor are rich, the grieved have comfort, the meek inherit the earth, the hungry are full, the merciful receive mercy, the childlike see God, the peacemakers are called children of God, and this kingdom belongs to the persecuted (Matthew 5:3-12).

And at this current time in history, that makes very much more sense than anything the world tries to claim. When men, women, and children are losing their lives for the sake of the Kingdom of God, that which is utterly senseless takes on a whole different meaning for those who belong to the “upside down kingdom” of God. As apostle Paul says, “For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21)

Recall the scene from Through the Looking Glass when Alice finds herself face to face with the Red Queen:

“Where are you going? Look up, speak nicely, and don't twiddle your fingers.”

Alice: “I seem to have lost my way.”

Red Queen: “What do you mean – your way? All the ways around here belong to me.”

Jesus warned his disciples that ruler of this age, also called the prince of this world, would have no power over him; but Christ came to show God's love and to do the will of the Father (John 14:29-31). What was it that God the Father required? Now this is where it seems really upside down. Jesus came to give up his life. The thief comes to steal, to kill, and destroy, Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” (John 10:10-11)

Alice eventually came to the end of her path. She plopped down on a rock and began to sob hopelessly that she may never find her way home. Thankfully although it may feel sometimes like we're living in a nonsensical world like Wonderland, we have a different hope, direct access to the promised Kingdom of God.

When it seems that the world has been utterly turned upside down...When suffering, loss, injustice, disease, and death clutter the world with confusion...When it feels some days that we have utterly lost our way...there is a Shepherd who pursues us. When nothing else seems to make any sense, this is one thing that makes complete sense. That the way through this life is to follow the One who guides our feet into the path of peace (John 1:79).