Day 20 - Poured Out

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed...

{2 Corinthians 4:7-9}

There were words...a jar of words, maybe a box full, or even a store house...of thoughts and prayers that needed to be shared, unloaded, poured out for a purpose.

I prayed, Lord, take these gifts for your kingdom. In exchange He gave me pain and loss. He gave me grief and loneliness. He brought me through the desert to face impossible things.

Then he sent community. He gave me a kindred-spirit friend. She told me I had a message to share. There were those who were searching and hoping. And I had all these words in my hands.

He taught me confidence in him, not in me. He told me to write and to share, to be vulnerable and free. So I did. I wrote and shared and I wept and prayed.

Then he gave me servant-hood. He taught me love for the unlovable. He humbled me, least I forget that I am just me. He guided me on a path of peace.

He gave me intimacy in friendships, mentors, and opportunities to lead. Though I wanted to pull back into the the shadows, he brought me into his glorious light. He gave me a platform and a voice.

And though I trembled, he steadied my feet as I walked along. But I looked at the the beautiful load and I struggled to pick it up. I began to strive and stumble and bend. So he broke me.

He brought loneliness, uncommon-ness, and vulnerability. I faced myself in the mirror and knew it deeper still. I am just me. But He is he. And he is enough.

He takes my not enough and fills it up with his enough-ness. He fills me with living water so that I may be poured out.

I am not a water tank to store up good treasures and keep them to myself. He made me to be a vessel that pours not stores. I am a conduit. Let him flow.

Revive My Heart - Write 31 Days